June 23, 2004
Present in his thoughts
Dave has been resident in a group home a few blocks from my house, as I posted on June 9.
I attended a meeting with Dave, his CFS social worker, his group home key worker, and my estranged wife Jan on June 10. Dave was argumentative, and I got the distinct impression that he was still determined to beat the system and keep his freedom. He took off right after the meeting. I left with a mission of gathering his clothes and delivering them to Garfield, which I did a few days later.
I have tried to line up times I can get together with Dave, but he isn't there when I call, and he doesn't call me. I have talked to the staff a few times, and I am finding that Dave has been awol many nights since June 10.
He dropped by at my house at 9:15 AM on Sunday (June 20) to wish me a happy Father's day. I was dressed to go cycling, and I told him I wanted to go out but I had a commitment to my friends to cycle with them, and a commitment to visit my dad in the afternoon. I said I wanted to meet him in the evening. He said he would call, but he didn't. I could have called him, but got occupied with some projects and settled in to read a book after dinner.
I checked with Red (the manager of the group home) on Monday and found out that Dave had been awol for a couple of nights, including Saturday night. He went back to the group home Sunday, about an hour after he stopped here. He slept during the day. I visited the house Monday evening and Tuesday morning. Dave wasn't there. He stayed there Sunday night and went awol again.
It's good that he remembered and dropped by. It doesn't appear that the group home reminded him or pushed him. I don't think he was sarcastic.
He called me late last (Tuesday) night. He had called the group home and had been told I wanted to talk to him. He said he needed $60 because he owed a guy he had stayed with in Edmonton some money as rent, and he had heard the guy was looking for him with some resentment and ill intent. I said he should get back to the group home. When he called a second time, I offered to pick him up and drive him to the group home but he didn't want that.
Unfortunately, it seems that he wants contact on his terms. He is making it hard or impossile for me to meet with him and talk to him.
He sees his life as something of a game in which he has to beat other players and the game. He thinks he wins when he can gratify an impulse - which he defines as having fun, or being free - or avoid some rules. When I get into the game, he usually wants me to give him money, and sometimes he wants to trick me or steal from me.
Posted by Tony Dalmyn at June 23, 2004 09:21 AM
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